Thursday, March 1, 2007

How Do You Feel About Black Men with White Women: A Male and Female Perspective

He Said,
A lot of people of all races have mixed feelings and emotions as they walk pass a black and white couple holding hands, mainly our black women. Who can blame them? Black women have been through more than anyone else in America. I am quite sure it hurts many black women to see their black men holding firm the hands of white women. But does love have to stay beyond the walls of a race? Can one person demand that a man cannot fall in love with a woman of the race that once was in control of them? Indeed not, because no one can control who they fall in love with, and no one can demand that someone can’t fall in love with someone else. I will clearly never be a woman, so I will never feel the pain that our black woman feel. But no matter how much clothes you reveal or how far you are willing to go, this will not cause all black men to refrain from all white women. But walk around with a humble spirit and a crown on your head. Show black men what they are missing out on when they look at someone of another race. Your ancestors surround you in a stadium in the sky, praying that you will take the position as a queen you so richly inherited.

She Said,
I read in a magazine one day that for African American women if you are not married by the age of 35 it is more likely that you get killed in a terrorist attack. I can’t remember the last terrorist attack in the United States before September 11th. I say this to give a point of reference about my opinion. I do not feel as though anyone should have to be with someone only because of a color expectation. On the flip side, recognizing the unique pain that black women face daily I wish there were more black men who cherished black women and our struggle, and wanted to alleviate that pain by loving us and being committed to us. Black women are truly, “the mules of the earth.” We hold the largest percentage of people with sicknesses and diseases. We hold the largest percentage of premature death. Statistically we are the lowest economically, and we are also the demographic most portrayed in the media as sex symbols, “sex gods,” ignorant, and insignificant. There are of course always exceptions to every rule, but this is, for the most part, the “black woman’s reality.” Therefore the cherry on the top of one pitiful cake is not being able to find a black, strong, educated, beautiful, loving, MAN, because we look around and we think, “Where have all the black men gone?” They’re with “other” women.

"The White Minstrel Show"

The White Rapper show, a show about white rappers, is one of the most ridiculous excuses for media that I have ever seen. At first sight, viewers would probably think of some type of “white” minstrel show. However, taking a closer look, it could be considered a minstrel show of black people, in white face. There are ten original contestants who are put into a house located in the Bronx, New York, and they are sent on various missions told to prove their rap skills, and hip-hop filled hearts. The show is in many ways degrading to the original hip-hop community, as well as African Americans in today’s society. Throughout the show they speak about what it is to truly be a hip-hop artist, and yet in watching the show, it is made clear that the show participants as well as the producers have misconstrued the idea themselves. The host of the show speaks about how hip-hop is about being poor, hated, and expressive; it is so clear, however, that the most important element, self-respect, is lost.

African Americans make up the bulk of the rap and hip-hop community. The White Rapper Show is dedicated to proving that “white rappers” are equally as valuable to this community, and also just as used to the circumstances that often prelude the typical hip-hop life, seen by society through the media. The White Rapper Show degrades legendary hip-hop artist by alluding that they were poor, ignorant, and ghetto prior to their success in the media (these images are shown throughout each episode). Moreover, the show degrades African Americans because statistically African Americans make up the majority of the hip-hop community that the individuals on the show say they are representing. This is the type of media that needs to be prevented in order to reduce the prevalent stereotypes often seen in society and the media.

Can You Find Love in the Club: A Male and Female Perspective

He Said,
I personally believe that wherever two people meet, they can find love. The club is a place where people go to dance and have fun while listening to music. It is a place to go and express whatever it is that you’re feeling through bodily motions. Quiet a few people go to the club just to let loose. There are also a lot of people who go to the club with hopes of meeting someone to become closer to, and get better acquainted with. There are many ways women can attract men in the club. Eye contact can say so much more than words sometimes, and that is a perfect example. Confidence is another powerful tool that can be seen, through body language, in the club. While in the club, if a woman does not give in at first, and makes a man work for her number, a successful relationship could potentially come out of that, mainly because the man will treasure her number because of how hard he had to work for it. Another powerful tool that women can utilize in the club is self respect. A man will show respect to a woman who demands it. Use these powerful tools women, no matter where you are. Whether men realize it or not, a lot of men are looking for a woman to love, but you must demand it. Even if you are in a club, but you maintain certain expectations for the way men treat you, you will get whatever it is that you went to the club trying to find.

She Said,
I don’t know how I feel about finding love in a club. If we were to evaluate statistics the answer we find would probably be very different than my personal opinion. Although this may be true concerning finding love in the club and the possibility, I definitely think it is possible. It could be argued that I found love on Facebook, and a lot of people would say that is impossible. Love is innately unreal, unimaginable, unable to be defined, and unbelievable. So in dealing with matters of the heart, you have to believe that the unbelievable is real. While I know that it is possible to find love in the club, I also think that the likelihood of club found relationships have to be considered. The primary issue that I think should be taken into account is the fact that you can not go to a pound and expect to find dolphins. Looking at that analogy and relating it to this issue, you can not go to the club and expect to find some male or female who doesn’t like partying. The fact of the matter is if you find your potential mate in the club, you might have a “club head” on your hands. If when you picked up your man at the club he was wasted, you might have an alcoholic on your hands. But just like it’s possible to find a needle in a haystack, it’s possible to find love in the club. It would just be in your best interest to take the likelihood into consideration, before you go searching.

Can a Couple with Two Religions Stand: A Male and Female Perspective

He Said,
I would like to start off by saying ALL things are possible with God. There is no way I can say that it is impossible for a couple with two different religions to last. Now if the two are not serious about their religion at that point in their lives, then this will not cause any problems. Also if the two communicate well and humble themselves, things will be okay even if the two were serious about their religions. But the problem comes when people are not being open-minded of their partner’s religion, and immediately cut that person off the second he or she begins to talk about it. We must humble ourselves and at least listen to our partner’s religion, because their religion is where their soul abides. Now once marriage comes into play, then it gets real serious because now we’re talking about raising a family and creating rules in the household. Everyone who I have talked to would like to see their children raised in the religion they believe in, and this can certainly cause division. My suggestion is to always be open-minded to your partner’s religion, and pray continuously, because many religions today do not have room for other religions also.

She Said,
If the reason why two people decide to get into a relationship is so they can potentially have a life lasting bond, religion, will more than likely prove to play an important role. There are a lot of different perspectives to consider of course. If two people have different religious beliefs, but neither of them is particularly strong in their faith then it probably would not make any difference concerning the relationship. On the other hand, if you have two individuals who have different religious beliefs and both of them are strong in their beliefs then the relationship may go through some serious struggles as a result. The Bible states that two individuals shall be, “equally yoked,” this does not mean that both individuals should have identical beliefs, it means that both individuals should be strong in their faith and spirituality, with the ability to use there beliefs to walk in the same way. Yokes, in the Biblical days, were the machines that held cattle together. If for example two oxen happened to be of equal strength, but were pulling in opposite directions they would simply move in a circle. Never moving forward or gaining any distance. Also if one ox was stronger the other, was likely to get hurt. This is why the Bible says in relationships it is important to be equally yoked. Regardless of if there is a shared religion or not, because if one individual is stronger than the other then someone will potentially be hurt. In the same respects, if both people are strong in their faiths but their faiths lead them in opposite directions, they will end up never growing, or moving; simply going around in circles.

Is There More Pain in Life With or Without Love: A Male and Female Perspective

He Said,
Personally I believe that love will only cause happiness. Everyone enjoys the feeling of having someone love them. When you are in love with someone and that person loves you, you enjoy their company no matter what time of the day it is. The room can be silent and you feel comfortable because that person is like the piece of your life you grew up missing. But we must understand that we are humans, and we’re going to get on each others nerves, even though we may be in love. Pain caused by someone dear to your heart is indescribable. But to live a life without ever falling in love is far more painful. God Himself said it’s not good for man to be alone. If God and all his wisdom acknowledge the importance of love between two people it must be important. And if you want to find love on a whole new level, you must seek the Creator of love.

She Said,
I know that in many cases love is viewed as something that has the potential to hurt and cause pain but “love” does neither. Love is forever. “God is love.” God would never hurt anyone or anything because he created and cherishes everything. God is our father; he wants to fill us with love more than any other being. So, if God doesn’t cause hurt, love shouldn’t either. What causes people this hurt that we associate with love is misunderstanding and miscommunication. We often think someone loves us, and think we’re in love with someone, and so when that person hurts us, we think that our love caused us pain. In reality, “love” doesn’t cheat, “lust” cheats. “Love” doesn’t abuse, “anger” and “bad self-esteem” abuse. “Love” will not break a promise, but “ill-intent” (meaning you never planned on keeping the promise) will. Life is the most wonderful thing in the world when love is involved, especially the love of God. In the same way, life can be the worst thing in the world when you thought you had love, and lost, finding that you never had love at all.